Cold Is A Relative Thing


65 above zero:

Floridians turn on the heat.

People in Idaho plant gardens

60 above zero:

Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Idaho sunbathe.

50 above zero:

Italian & English cars won’t start.

People in Idaho drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:

Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.

People in Idaho throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:

New York landlords finally turn up the heat.

People in Idaho have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above zero:

People in Miami all die.

People in Idaho close the windows.

Zero:

Californians fly away to Mexico.

People in Idaho get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:

Hollywood disintegrates.

Girl Scouts in Idaho sell cookies door to door.

20 below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air.

People in Idaho let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

People in Idaho get upset because they can’t start the snowmobile.

40 below zero:

ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Idaho start saying, “Cold enough foh ya?”

50 below zero:

Hell freezes over. Idaho public schools will open 2 hours late

  1. #1 by Mahmoud El-Yousseph on December 16, 2009 - 3:35 pm

    When I think of the state of Idaho, two things comes to mind:
    First, potatos, then Mark Glenn.

    I know this poem was not written by Mr. Potato head, but rather
    the latter.

    Very creative style of writing, no matter who the author is.

    –note from me, MG–Actually Mahmoud I am not the author, I am merely reposting this from something someone sent me. As far as potatoes go, move to Idaho and you will learn to hate them.

  2. #2 by Doug on December 17, 2009 - 7:26 am

    I live in Idaho and I love SPUDS! I get about a hundred pounds every fall…free.
    There is a small market just down the road, in walking distance from my house. A couple days ago, I ran out of Ice. I was in my comfey shorts, a tee shirt, and my fuzzy slippers. I grabbed a couple bucks and set out down the road. On the way back, walking through a nice snow fall, carrying my bag of ice, a car with Utah plates drove by slowly and the four people in the car all looked at me as if I were in a zoo exibit. They don’t dress like that in the snow in Utah, I suppose.
    I am one Idahoan that loves the cold weather. When it gets a little too cold for everyone else, it’s getting just about right for me. I just love Idaho.

  3. #3 by Doug on December 24, 2009 - 10:16 am

    Why I Love Idaho

    When it’s winter in Idaho
    And the gentle breezes blow.
    About seventy miles an hour,
    And it’s fifty two below.

    You can tell you’re in Idaho
    ’cause the snow’s up to your butt.
    And you take a breath of pristine air,
    And your nose holes both freeze shut.

    The weather here is wonderful.
    So I guess I’ll hang around.
    I could never leave Idaho!!!
    My feet are frozen to the ground.

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