The Top Ten Signs You’re Doing Business With An Israeli Bank


10. When you make a deposit, rabbi tellers high-five each other.

9. After you get a free toaster, the bank president flees to Israel.

8. Your monthly statements are handwritten from a prison cell.

7. When you want to make a withdrawal, clerks suddenly don’t speak English.

6. You notice the front door to the vault is the back door to the building.

5. Your safety deposit box is a Dunkin’ Donuts carton addressed to Bernie Madoff.

4. All cash deposits go directly into the rabbi’s pants.

3. The song from the 80’s rock group Queen “Another One Bites the Dust” plays continuously

2. Toll-free customer service line is: 1-800-GET-HOSED.

1. The bank’s letterhead Reads: Bank President Ben Bernanke

–“Eddie from Cleveland”

Please check out the brand new book detailing Israel’s deliberate attack on the USS LIBERTY here

  1. #1 by Bill in Ohio on January 14, 2010 - 4:21 pm

    You forgot to mention that if youre a fellow of the tribe, and in good standing, Goldman Sachs will let you Front Run trades, meaning your trades takes priority over others, and they get stuck holding the bag..

    How can I screw thee over, let me count the ways..

    Shalom

  2. #2 by RickB on January 14, 2010 - 4:22 pm

    What? No collection boxes to save Israel?

  3. #3 by Tom in GA on January 14, 2010 - 5:18 pm

    Yes, a little levity is always a good thing. I think we should make fun of them more.

    Is levity a Levite? Oy vay …

  4. #4 by James de Juste II on January 14, 2010 - 9:37 pm

    They are the only bank that will back up their dollars with gold – but all their gold has tungsten cores.

  5. #5 by James de Juste II on January 14, 2010 - 10:12 pm

    They grab every tenth Gentile customer into a back room to take their organs for transplants.

  6. #6 by Patriotic1 on January 14, 2010 - 10:34 pm

    Revolution is the Solution!

  7. #7 by Hymie Kychowictz on January 14, 2010 - 10:40 pm

    “Hey here’s an idea – Let’s tear this damn jew temple down and build a Colosseum back in Rome with the gold we’ll salvage!”

    Titus Flavius Vespasianus – 69 A.D.

  8. #8 by jc on January 14, 2010 - 10:55 pm

    They have christian tellers that try to sell you a trip to Israel to see the beautiful Holy land.

  9. #9 by drago on January 14, 2010 - 10:59 pm

    … They announce they’re going to freeze rates for 10 months, but keep raising them, ?

  10. #10 by rachel on January 15, 2010 - 12:15 am

    Me thinkest its time for an intervention.

  11. #11 by Len Giles on January 15, 2010 - 12:29 am

    GOD’S CHOSEN PEOPLE

    The creation of the Zionist State of Israel (on stolen Palestinian land), gave the world an excellent opportunity to examine the true nature of the Jews, and understand why so many Gentiles (around the globe) detest them.
    Their arrogance, cruelty, virulent racism, and brutality (often captured on film by foreign correspondents), gives us a true picture of a nation without a conscience, without a soul, without morality, and without a God.
    The arrogant Israeli Prime Minister, Menachem Begin, once stated the following: “The Jewish “Race” is the MASTER RACE. We are divine gods on this planet. We are as different from the inferior races as they are from insects. In fact, compared to our “race”, other races are beasts and animals; cattle at best. Other races are considered as human excrement. Our destiny is to rule over the inferior races. Our earthly kingdom will be ruled by our leader with a rod of iron. The masses will lick our feet and serve us as our slaves.”
    Menachem Begin merely uttered what all Zionists believe in their hearts.
    The uncivilized, inhuman, and brutal treatment of the innocent, unarmed, Palestinian civilians (since 1948) is a clear manifestation of the Zionists’ evil and racist mentality.
    According to the prevailing Jewish mindset, all the despicable Israeli acts listed below, comply with the requirements of the Jewish Law. In other words, they are “kosher”.
    1-Stealing 80% of the Palestinians’ land is “kosher”.
    2-Killing innocent, unarmed, Palestinian men, women, and children, is “kosher”.
    3-Practicing Apartheid, and Genocide, in Palestine, is “kosher”.
    4-Building an enormous dividing wall in Palestine, without the Palestinians’ permission, is “kosher”.
    5-Behaving like tyrannical, racist, bullies, is “kosher”.
    6-Demolishing thousands of Palestinian homes (often with the occupants still inside), is “kosher”.
    7-Burning thousands of Palestinian homes, orchards and farms, is “kosher”.
    8-Unlawfully confiscating Palestinian properties, machinery and animals, is “kosher”.
    9-Raping, and murdering, Palestinian girls, is “kosher”
    10-Massacres and Atrocities inflicted upon the innocent, unarmed, Palestinian civilians, are perfectly “kosher”.
    11-Torturing approximately 125,000 Palestinian prisoners, for decades, is “kosher”.
    12-Forcing 1.3 million Palestinians (at gunpoint) to abandon their homes, their farms and their ancestral homeland, is “kosher”.
    13-Breaking the arms and legs of children for throwing stones at Israeli tanks, is “kosher”.
    14-Poisoning the water wells of Palestinians, with arsenic, to make them leave their homes and villages, is “kosher”.
    15-Ignoring dozens of United Nations Resolutions, since 1948, is “kosher”.
    16-Assasinating politicians, and leaders of the Palestinian Authority, is “kosher”.
    17-Terrorising Palestinian families, in the middle of the night, with “Gestapo style” raids, is “kosher”.
    18-Treating the Palestinian civilians like sub-human creatures, is “kosher”.
    19-Using American helicopters to destroy Palestinian cars, with all the passengers still inside, is “kosher”.
    20-Deliberately harassing, and bullying, Palestinian civilians at countless “check points”, and “road blocks”, is “kosher”.
    21-Desecrating Mosques and Muslim Holy Books, is “kosher”.
    22-Crushing demonstrators to death, with bulldozers, is “kosher”.
    23-Renaming dozens of stolen Palestinian towns and villages with Hebrew names, is “kosher’.
    24-The lucrative business of selling Palestinian body parts, is “kosher”.
    Behaving like demented, homicidal maniacs is perfectly normal for the Jews. It is the result of 4,000 years of inbreeding.
    How can wicked, mentally deranged, immoral, murderers claim to be members of the Human Race?
    How can a group of arrogant creatures (who belong to the same Semitic tribe as the Arabs), claim racial purity and racial superiority? Jews show their abysmal ignorance, and crass stupidity, when they accuse the Semite Arabs of “anti-Semitism”!
    How can cruel, evil, thugs who relentlessly break God’s Ten Commandments claim to be “God’s Chosen People”?. I regard their preposterous claim as GRIEVOUS BLASPHEMY. I honestly think that they are Satan’s chosen lycanthropes.
    Apathy is an unforgivable sin. Evil spreads like a cancer when good men (and good women), do nothing to stop it. On Judgement Day, we will be asked to justify our total lack of compassion and callous indifference to the pain, suffering, persecution, injustice, and the bullying of millions of innocent fellow humans. How will we plead?
    Len Giles

  12. #12 by David on January 15, 2010 - 1:13 am

    Lies, all damned lies… you people are all anti-semites! We Jews are the chosen people, show some respect or you will pay for your insolence and slanders. This is a warning!!!

  13. #13 by Me Here on January 15, 2010 - 1:39 am

    bomb bomb bomb …. bomb bomb the YIDS
    bomb bomb bomb …. bomb bomb the YIDS

    Oh bomb the yids … booomb them to biteeeeits !!
    oh bomb the yids ……
    Oh we are rocking and a rolling ….
    Rocking and a rolling

    lets bomb the yids !!

    McCain was right, that song is bloddy hysterical !!

    To funny

  14. #14 by John Normand on January 15, 2010 - 2:19 am

    I can add nothing to the very wise quotes written above

  15. #15 by Boris on January 15, 2010 - 2:42 am

    America battle cry, has to change from “REMEMBER ALAMO” to “REMEMBER USS LIBERTY” Ten you will have a change. Not a “howdy doody” change

  16. #16 by shlomo berkowitz on January 15, 2010 - 3:54 am

    rock on

  17. #17 by Doug on January 15, 2010 - 4:16 am

    James De Juste brings up a very good point about the tungsten bars plated with a very thin layer of gold. I wonder where they’ve hidden all our real gold? Israel? Solomons mine? Alan Greenspans garage?

    By the way, #6. You notice the front door to the vault is the back door to the building.

    That hit me square in the funny bone and almost knocked me off my perch.

  18. #18 by restinpieces on January 15, 2010 - 4:35 am

    David, where are you at?

  19. #19 by Sam on January 15, 2010 - 4:43 am

    If the client is a gentile, the teller will use a pedestal to ensure he or she stands taller! If you don’t believe me, ask the Turkish ambassador to israehell!

  20. #20 by Rick W. on January 15, 2010 - 4:50 am

    You win a free trip to the holyland at your zionist bank- compliments of your zombified “Christian” Zionist tellers. While you are being spat upon, beaten and arrested for being a REAL Christian in Occupied Palestine, your brainwashed “friends” are looking the other way saying, ” aren’t God’s Chosen ones wonderful? Don’t you wish that Rev. Falwell was here?

  21. #21 by Stupid on January 15, 2010 - 4:50 am

    This post has to be a setup by the ADL.
    This is a diversion to any rational discourse and to portray you idiots as rednecks and you fell for it. No self respecting redneck could be this stupid.

    Now they have your IP address on file

  22. #22 by Flanders on January 15, 2010 - 5:03 am

    In case we have not noticed it is us, the “US” (and UK), who are the jews in the ways we affect the world. We just have not realized until relatively recently that, through deceit, our government has been taken away. If you think that the people are the government – vote, and see just how much change you make.

    If we are Americans, we are at war. The enemy are the occupiers of our government, those pretenders, who do not follow their oaths to the constitution. Their Generals are the corporate and international financiers. They are the ones taking measures of war against us even as they continue to steal our national resources.

  23. #23 by alan on January 15, 2010 - 5:21 am

    There will come a time that the chosen one’s will have to pay, for stealing peoples’ organs. To me a jew is the worst kind of shit that crawls on this planet. I hope iran will some day get thier nukes.

  24. #24 by RickB on January 15, 2010 - 5:47 am

    Regarding those Save Israel collection boxes: There’s nothing like going out to lunch on chump change.

    Regarding David’s “anti-Semite” charge: That was thrown by a genocider… of Semites.

  25. #25 by Viking on January 15, 2010 - 6:28 am

    When do we start turning correct comment into ACTION?

  26. #26 by lee on January 15, 2010 - 6:35 am

    this is why the Germans tried to wipe the jews off the map,they recognized the evil money grabbing bastards for what they are.unfortunately these scum of the earth fled and scattered themselves all over europe and america and proceeded to take over financial institutions and governments,bankrolling the american war machine to fulfill their zionist plots(sept 11,war in iraq and afghan,war on the palestinians).this is why the arab world hates america and the west.and they even convinced the american public that they send their sons and daughters to die in iraq to defend their country against al qaeda.bullshit …they defending israeli zionist interests in the middle east.And we must believe they are the chosen race.of course they are the chosen race of Satan to carry out his evil wishes.

  27. #27 by James D on January 15, 2010 - 7:55 am

    No Actual Shortage Of Holocaust Survivors

    Extracts from The Holocaust Industry by Norman G. Finkelstein of the City University of New York, published by Verso in 2000:

    ‘The Israeli Prime Minister’s office recently put the number of “living Holocaust survivors” at nearly a million.’ (page 83)

  28. #28 by John Corewijn on January 15, 2010 - 8:46 am

    Dear Mark,

    Good comment !

    John

  29. #29 by Dee Struct on January 15, 2010 - 11:16 am

    Madoff spelled backwards is FF-O-DAM!

  30. #30 by MIke S on January 15, 2010 - 11:40 am

    When they joke that if you miss a loan payment, they’ll settle for a kidney, they aren’t really joking.

  31. #31 by Gordon on January 15, 2010 - 1:07 pm

    The Khasers who moved into israehell will remain a cancer on the planet untill removed by radiotherapy.
    The Tsar bomb on Tel Aviv sounds good, any better offers?

  32. #32 by Mihail on January 15, 2010 - 1:21 pm

    Our race is the Master Race. We are(THE CHILDREN OF SATAN,KHAZAR JEWS,THE SYNAGOGUE OF SATAN,,REVELATION 2:9,,3:9) divine gods on this planet. We are as different from the inferior races as they are from insects. In fact, compared to our race, other races are beasts and animals, cattle at best. Other races are considered as human excrement. Our destiny is to rule over the inferior races. Our earthly kingdom will be ruled by our leader with a rod of iron. The masses will lick our feet and serve us as our slaves.”

    — Menachem Begin – Israeli Prime Minister 1977–1983

  33. #33 by Nathan on January 15, 2010 - 1:58 pm

    They call it the Holey Land
    Because that where your money goes (in) to.

  34. #34 by drago on January 15, 2010 - 2:21 pm

    @David, so funny. @rachel, why? Just harmless jokes, right?

    … In 1967 I invested a dollar, and now I have 11 cents and a green I.D. card, ?

  35. #35 by drago on January 15, 2010 - 2:22 pm

    … If you’re Christian, the head tellers spit on you.

  36. #36 by drago on January 15, 2010 - 2:32 pm

    … When you open an account you get a free, Palestine?

  37. #37 by Greg Bacon on January 15, 2010 - 9:47 pm

    The dollar bills all say “Federal Reserve Note.”

  38. #38 by restinpieces on January 15, 2010 - 9:58 pm

    After signing up, you get a letter from a guy in Nigeria saying you have won the Israeli lottery.

  39. #39 by charlie on January 15, 2010 - 11:42 pm

    No 11. You are given the option of investing in a new settlement on the West Bank, complete with swimming pools, newly transplanted 500 year old olive trees, and guns to protect your investment from stray palestinian shepherds and rock throwing 6 yr olds who want their dads olive trees back.

  40. #40 by Tunder on January 15, 2010 - 11:58 pm

    And the #0 reason …

    You “think” you are giving to the Haitian “earthquake” relief fund …

    (When MSM jumps on-board en-masse to push for aid for a “natural” disaster … just like Katrina or 9-11 or ???whatever … the funds never get there … say hello to the next wave of Bank bailouts)

  41. #41 by Tunder on January 16, 2010 - 12:08 am

    And the #0 reason …

    You realize you are holding … “tungsten”.

  42. #42 by Jalid on January 16, 2010 - 12:22 am

    Gordon,
    To us palestinians, the Jews are not a cancer.
    A cancer grows from within your body and kills you. they are not from us.
    They came to us from outside therefore they are an AIRBORBE BACTERIA.
    Achuu!

  43. #43 by Doug on January 16, 2010 - 2:31 am

    Lee,
    The Germans had no intentions of wiping the Jews “off the map.”
    After the Jews had taken over Russia around 1917 onward, they started moving into Europe to spread Communism. They started killing innocent German farmers and their entire families, hacking them to bits along the roads. Hitler said enough. Germany was in the grips of Jew bankers as well, as we are today.
    When Patton romped on the Germans, he realized that he, and we, had been duped. Read his letters to his wife where he states that we were fighting the wrong people. He said the communist jews were the most dispecable, murderous lot he had ever witnessed. He decided to come back to America and change it. Because they knew he could and would, he was murdered.
    Roosevelt was a Jew, Churchill was a Jew and Stalin was married to a Jew, they were in on the take over of Europe. Patton wanted to march into the Soviet Union and spank them real good. The powers that be had other plans. By the time the war was ending, Hitlers troops were starving on the front lines. The jews in the “relocation” camps, were not eating well either. Disease started to take it’s toll. Hence, all the pictures of emaciated corpses.
    If you read anything by Roosevelt, Churchill or any other powerful person from WWII, you find nothing about death camps or ovens. The Communist Soviet Jews produced all of the propaganda of the day to shift the blame. The Jews in America, with the help and blessing from the Hollywood Jews, took that propaganda and wrote the Shoah screenplay that has been shoved down our throats since the early 70’s. There is no business like Shoah business!

    BTW,
    To the poster with the name of STUPID…you are right, you are STUPID. They not only have my IP, they have my name and address. I gave it to them. Lucifer cannot touch me. I have my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ guarding my front and back door.

  44. #44 by Mahmoud El-Yousseph on January 16, 2010 - 4:22 am

    Hey Sam, Israeli PM and the President did issue a public appology after that diplomatic breach with the Turkish Ambassador. Only after Turkish Prime Ministor threahened to pull out his country ambassador out that shit hole country. See, that is the only language that Israel understand. Remember the Turkish Prime Minister when he walked out on that war crminal& president of Israel?

    Viva Turkey!

  45. #45 by Brian Akira on January 16, 2010 - 9:53 am

    NO. 2:

    You feel a sharp pain in your ass.

    No. 1:

    Your great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren have to pay your debt.

  46. #46 by Brian Akira on January 16, 2010 - 10:00 am

    How can Americans you tell they’re in debt to Jews?

    — You got an income tax bill.

    — You registered for the draft.

    Why Americans are indebted to Jews is a greater mystery.

  47. #47 by Vladolf on January 16, 2010 - 1:19 pm

    Bravo Doug, i do believe you have it covered!

  48. #48 by James de Juste II on January 16, 2010 - 2:30 pm

    David said, “We Jews are the chosen people, show some respect or you will pay for your insolence and slanders. This is a warning!!!

    What in the world does that mean? It certainly sounds like a threat! Who is this David guy?

    Another post-or said “Now they have your IP address on file.”

    I don’t know. Can David and his ilk you down this way?

    I remember something on another of Mr. Glenn’s blogs, (St. John Chrysostom, I believe). He found what appeared to be two separate post-ors emanating from the same IP address. So I know some tracking can be done. But I would appreciate Mr. Glenn’s input on this question.

    This is such an innocent little humorous blog but I wouldn’t put anything past the Jews who have revenge in their hearts to keep files on you and come after you now or later.

    I recall Abe Foxman of ADL bullying little Dolly Parton to apologize for saying the Jews run Hollywood (later admitted by Jews themselves).

    Now, if you use Google Maps searching your own name, up pops the Intelius link which can give out your address, age, closest relative, mother’s maiden name, etc. This is outrageous! What has happened to privacy? I don’t trust Google as it is headed by Sergey Brin a very activist Zionist Jew who has approved censorship on Google. Hell, Google is practically a public utility, that shouldn’t be happening.

    But, the internet is becoming scary what with Jew ownership and heavy staffing not only of Google, but Wikipedia, Facebook, Yahoo, MySpace, and eBay. With that kind of control, future rough times could bring more Jew favored censorship.

    Incidentally, on the “chosen people”, their God did not give them a freebie with that covenant but it was more of a pact in that it was conditional on the Jews faithfully following His commandments. Through history they haven’t done so. That was one of Jesus’ major beefs with the Pharisees for which they murdered Him. So the Jews are the “chosen people” only in their dreams.

  49. #49 by John Zook on January 16, 2010 - 2:39 pm

    # 12 if you’re a woman, you will be forced to have sex with the jewish teller before you can make a withdrawal. Unfortunately the jew won’t. LOL
    I wish I could get others to see what Isrealhell really is. Not the holy nation of god’s chosen people, but a rabid, lying, thieving and murderous state of psychopaths totally without any shame or human decency. The mark of a communist.
    God bless the Palestinian people for standing up to the zionist scum who would enslave us all. F*** you Isreallhell and take your talmudic shit with you to hell.

  50. #50 by rachel on January 16, 2010 - 3:13 pm

    @Drago

    Just harmless jokes, right?

    No not harmless, nor was my comment directed at any of these posts. An intervention implies that jews are our family as much as any other humans and need our intervening to stop them from their self destructive behavior which happens to also be taking down the rest of us, thusly an intervention, get it?

    Hating and insulting jews makes as much sense as hating and insulting a sibling, it just causes catastrophic rifts in the family. When we remember we are all family and love each other then the problems dont seem so insurmountable.

    Frankly, I am all for the state of Israel. Im sure the Palestinians wouldnt mind leaving if ALL the jews moved to and stayed there. But instead Israel acts as a launching pad of terror on the rest of humanity. Hurting them wont stop it.

  51. #51 by James de Juste II on January 16, 2010 - 4:33 pm

    Rachel said “Frankly, I am all for the state of Israel. Im sure the Palestinians wouldnt mind leaving if ALL the jews moved to and stayed there. But instead Israel acts as a launching pad of terror on the rest of humanity. Hurting them wont stop it.”

    Seems to me that is pretty garbled logic.

    She also says, “…thusly an intervention, get it?”

    No, I don’t “get it”. Instead of a glittering generality, lets have some specificity: what does she see as an “intervention”, since the US President, his Administration, Congress, and the Defence Department are all Israeli subsidiaries, with the US taxpayer supporting Israel, and US young men and women being the ones dying in wars for Israel.

  52. #52 by Jalid on January 16, 2010 - 9:50 pm

    Three hundred dollars Dark Rayban glasses, five hundred dollars silky Tommy Hilfiger Jilbayahs, eight hundred dollars Nike tiger skin leather sandals on pedophile bastards Johnny Walker drunks….

    The most battered in Palestine are the children. Especially little girls. They are soft, gentle and thin with big sad eyes a shy smile and porcelain skin. Just like angels that God forgot
    They live a childhood without Infancy, Pantene or, like the ones in other Arab countries, Hummus stained borrowed, Mickey Mouse comic books.
    Some think that it’s only the Jew that is to blame.
    Forgetting hypocrite western people and their ever binaca smiling, fruitless leaders.
    These are flanked by their lackeys, the democratically unelected Arab punks that are nothing but the same bootlickers of all previous empires and blue eyed “allies”.
    Dark Rayban glasses, silky Tommy Hilfiger Jilbayahs, Nike tiger skin leather sandal on pedophile bastards Johnny Walker drunks.
    The western civilization cant do nothing. It is today in a coma with tubes sticking out of their interior ministry running down their cold blooded soulless system out their Christ urinating TV stations and into their lower house and congresses.. Blaming Haiti, The churches are empty and outside, alcoholism in Alize and Tangeray cocktails is rampant and peachy virgins at age fifteen are considered immoral and cast away like medieval witches.
    The weight
    of the bulk
    of the drugs
    they devour beats the
    load of the mass
    of the weapons
    they produce.
    They send the weapons overseas at the same time as other loaded returning ships dock!
    These are unloaded with pure dope brought from the lands they liberated it from, brought to comfort the inexpressive, shocked soldiers that came back, coughing and limping from Mission Accomplished long wars
    Containers leave and containers come.
    Containers leave and containers come.

    And the chilDren of Palestine, specially the little girls with porcelain like silk skin with a shy smile that look like angels that God forgot are somehow being blamed for all this.
    A Shameless,
    frauDulent
    Drunk
    Drug
    aDDict
    Dung
    staineD
    worlD
    inDeeD. Have a nice
    Day

  53. #53 by Vox on January 17, 2010 - 5:44 am

    When the GD jews take over America:

    http://www.heretical.com/miscella/rcjoa.html

  54. #54 by drago on January 18, 2010 - 2:00 am

    @rachel, I have to agree with some of the things you said there. Self destructive behaviour taking down everyone, good analysis. Other humans, though, do they have the same views on that?

    So what intervention would work? @Viking, how to delegitimize, and show the control or censorship going on, ?

    … The president of the bank is wanted for war crimes, but they’re confident the USA will veto the U.N. Security Council vote.

    … Big sign in the bank window saying “al-Aqsa branch opening soon”

    … Tellers across the street at the gas station, claiming that used to be a bank also.

  55. #55 by rachel on January 18, 2010 - 5:01 pm

    @drago So what intervention would work? @Viking, how to delegitimize, and show the control or censorship going on, ?

    I gave some reasonable suggestions in answer to this comment and they were…….da da ta da ,,, censored.

    So one must concede that although this web post is critical of jews, it censors any worth while discussion on how to physically invoke an intervention or provide any remedies. As such any further conversation here is moot.

    Im sorry my brothers and sisters, we are given an opportunity to bitch about this and that but we are being actively influenced not to do so intelligently.

    oh worry,

  56. #56 by Mahmoud El-Yousseph on January 26, 2010 - 1:39 am

    Your bank account is suddeny closed, without explaination.

    You are questioned about suspicious transaction [giving aid to a Palesitnians or a Muslim charity.

    Bank refused to provide service to a female Muslim customer who is wearing the religious mandated head scarf[Hijab].

  57. #57 by Cranston on September 15, 2010 - 7:05 pm

    Sergey Brin is the most vile, evil Jew on the planet. He founded Google to spy on the whole world and is only now being found out. He got away with it for over a decade! Ever wonder how much info he has on you and what he has done with it! His mother is a dead ringer for Ethel Rosenberg, who the U.S. executed for spying. She was the only woman ever executed in the U.S. for spying, and, as expected, she was a Jewess!

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