Given the fact I had only reached the wise old age of 8 and thus had no idea what it meant, nevertheless I thought the word “bitch” must certainly apply to her.
By the 2nd grade she had already been crowned by the rest of us with the title “Big Momma”. She was as mean, ugly and wild as a feral hog in the latter stage of rabies and who salivated over the opportunity to pick fights with others. Like any typical gang leader, she had a gaggle of lackeys and hangers-on around her (girls just as ugly as she was) and believe it or not would even bully the boys around sometimes. I once watched as she punched one kid in the face (just for fun) and his eyeball fell out.
She was fat, had a BO problem long before that “change of life” thing known as puberty arrived and was shockingly unattractive, which I suppose explained a lot in terms of her disposition. Making matters even worse was the fact that–as an only child whose parents doted on everything she did, irrespective of whatever it was–she never once came even close to getting the ass-whoopin’ she needed in those “formative” years and therefore was as spoiled as a kid could get.
Not long after her arrival then nature did its thing and she made herself “yard boss” for life. This job entailed her making existence for the rest of us just wanting to get along in that jungle known as recess a living hell and she obviously loved it.
Her enemies became OUR enemies without us having anything to say about it. Every week it was a new one, and usually for nothing whatsoever. Once the fat lady–meaning Big Momma–sung and the rest of her gang started in on the chorus whoever happened to be the lucky winner for the week was subjected to an organized, loud, and relentless campaign of teasing and alienation.
And the thing was, as I said, it wasn’t something between just her and so-and so. We were all forced to take part in it. If someone was on her shit list, you better not be seen talking to him or her in a friendly way lest you wind up on it as well. Through the force of her spoken and unspoken threats, we were all expected to partake in the punitive program of making so-and-so feel as unwelcome as possible. The only way the condemned could sue for peace was to prostrate him or herself at the fat, smelly feet of Big Momma and beg for forgiveness for something that never even occurred.
God help any newcomers, and especially if they were of the feminine persuasion who happened to be gifted in the personality, brains or good looks department. Big Momma would make sure to rally the troops and make life on earth for this poor creature like something out of a Stephen King novel. I remember seeing little girls sitting by themselves crying and knowing why. Oftentimes they switched to another school within just a week’s time.
The amazing thing was, BM–Big Momma–never thought about tomorrow and what her behavior might eventually bring. She never considered the law of physics regarding reactions equal and opposite to the actions that preceded them. She never thought about own bullyish behavior and what it would inevitably produce, meaning the legions of enemies she created. Nor did she think about the fact that her place as yard boss was dependant upon the gang she had assembled around her, and that eventually, all her allies and associates might one day decide they needed something new in their lives and thus walk away from it all.
Which was exactly what happened. Eventually, and by this I mean about 8 years later, the rest of us had pretty much had it up to here with Big Momma. And then one day, I can’t remember what it was over and without any planning or conspiring, we all turned on her and gave her a dose of what she had given all of us for 8 years. It was cruel, but sometimes justice is. She got the cold shoulder and the silent treatment. We laughed and snickered. Pictures were drawn and limericks composed. I knew her reign of terror was officially over when one day I saw her sitting at lunch by herself (whereas in years past she would be surrounded by her fellow thugettes as if she were some elementary school mob boss) while her former associates sat at the table behind her and threw small piece of food at her while roaring with laughter.
School let out for summer break shortly thereafter and when we all gathered together again in the fall for a new school year, Big Momma was gone and had been replaced with a kinder, gentler gal who was ready to make friends and play nice.
I think it is safe to say we have all seen some variation of Big Momma sometime in our lives. As the old saying goes “There’s one in every crowd”. There is this thing known as the law of the jungle which pervades everything and especially when it comes to vacuums of power and how they get filled.
And we think that once we’ve left that childhood world of childish behavior that it is all over, and not without good reason. After all, the normal process of things is that people grow up, realize that the world does not revolve around only them and begin acting their age. They get educated, then married, have kids and then learn to live cooperatively with neighbors and do their part in building societies, nations and civilizations.
Except for some, it seems. Some insist upon living in Never, Never Land– meaning the glory days of their youth–when they were yard boss and king (or queen) of the hill…Individuals who thrive on conflict and get a rush when thinking back nostalgically to the times they punched so-and-so in the face and his eyeball fell out or caused so-and-so who had just arrived from another school to pack up and evacuate. Like being stuck in the mud up to the car’s axles or like a defective phonograph with a scratch down the middle, they are stuck at a certain part of the song and do not progress any further than that as it repeats itself over, and over and over ad infinitum.
Behold, I give you, ladies and gentlemen, the Jewish state.
Take for example the latest dealings we in the global schoolyard are forced to deal with concerning Israel, Big Momma of the Middle East who can’t get along with anyone and wets her pants over the prospect of going to war against her neighbors. Besides the already-disastrous wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, we have Iran, Syria, Lebanon, Pakistan and others on the back burner getting ready to boil over. Not an hour in a day goes by where we aren’t getting “the look” from Big Momma or one of her associates indicating how we are expected to involve ourselves in the brouhaha she has built up of her own doing. Daily hysterical OpEds from creatures with names such as Krauthammer, Kristol, Kagan, Podhoretz, Foxman, Wiesel, etc, etc, etc, and how the rest of us are all in mortal danger if we don’t ban together and fight Big Momma’s battles for her…No price–either with regards to our treasury or to our most precious resource, the blood of our children serving in the military–is too much.
At the risk of sounding pithy, why can’t she and her people just grow up and act their age? I mean after all, as the rest of us poor Gentile slobs are reminded on a daily basis, they are supposed to be the cream of the crop and the finest that humanity has to offer, right? Listening to the narrative as they tell it, civilization BEGAN with them and we would all still be swinging from the trees and communicating in monosyllabic grunts were it not for the “enlightenment” they brought to mankind.
Furthermore, and again, as we poor Gentile slobs are reminded on a daily basis, why do they need OUR help? Isn’t this the same crew so loved by their god that he performed all sorts of miracles for them in smiting their enemies, from the plagues to the angel of death killing the first born? What do they need OUR money for? Where is their god who–at least according to the narrative they use in justifying their superiority over the rest of us–showed such favoritism to them that he was willing to part the Red Sea, lead them to the promised land with a sandstorm by day and a pillar of fire by night? I guess he must be on sabbatical these days, ‘cause we certainly don’t see him showing any interest in this matter in their favor, which is why they are regularly and routinely caught stealing money, weapons, secrets and political support from America and the West in ginning up these wars in her neighborhood.
But then, why should we be so surprised? Notice that the most important part of the term “growing up” is the word “growing”, which means moving upwards towards something (hopefully) better.
Tragically, this is not the case regarding the Jewish community. As they demonstrate on a daily basis, they are a people not just ROOTED in the past, but indeed BURIED in it. Their’s is a world view frozen in time (roughly 4000 BC to be exact) and who focus all their energies and attention on a collection of stories involving forefathers claiming to have received messages from some higher power instructing them to lie, cheat, steal, murder dispossess, displace and enslave those within their reach. Whereas the rest of the world hums along to Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” the Jewish people can’t get “Yesterday” from the Beatles out of their heads, and particularly the very first lines–
“Yesterday…All my troubles seemed so far away…Now it looks as though they’re here to stay…Oh I believe in yesterday…
And now the latest from Big Momma involves us, the West, engaging in the same kind of childish, impish behavior she is so fond of exhibiting when it comes to her competitors–
Jewish groups: Boycott Ahmadinejhad in NYC
NEW YORK (JTA) — Jewish groups are calling on U.N. member representatives to walk out in protest when Iran’s president speaks next week at the United Nations.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejhad’s plans to address the U.N. Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty Review Conference on May 3 makes a mockery of the proceedings, Jewish groups said.
“We call on all countries, particularly those that value democracy and freedom, to leave the United Nations hall when Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejhad, rises to speak,” the president and executive vice chairman of the Conference of Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations said in a statement. “Iran’s pursuit of a nuclear weapons capability poses a threat to the region and the entire Western world. To have President Ahmadinejhad address this review conference makes a mockery of the efforts of many countries to prevent nuclear weapons and nuclear terrorism from becoming the gravest global threats of this century.”
The Jewish Community Relations Council of New York issued an action alert urging readers to e-mail U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon at email@example.com to protest Ahmadinejhad’s inclusion at the conference.
The World Jewish Congress asked its member communities to contact their government representatives to persuade them to participate in the protest walkout, saying in a statement, “It is dismaying that, once again, the U.N. is allowing the head of a regime, foremost in the sponsorship of terrorism and the abuse of human rights, who defies U.N. resolutions regarding its nuclear ambitions, to appear before the international body.”
WTF is this, the 2nd grade??? The rest of the world–doused in war as it is and about to get even wetter if the Jewish community gets its way viz-a-viz Iran–is expected to engage in the same kind of backwards, juvenile, arrested-development behavior as if this were some schoolyard drama?
Why not hear the man out? Civilized society is BASED upon discourse, dialogue and discussion. What, is he going to pull a thermonuclear bomb he has hidden in his turban and detonate it, killing all life on earth? What are Jewish interests so afraid of that they must engage in (and drag everyone else into) grade school-level antics such as walking out?
Sadly, there is only one Final Solution to all this, and one that must be done without the cooperation of Big Momma. The fact is, if we–the rest of the civilized world predicate world peace on the hopes that Big Momma is going to grow up and start acting her age, then world peace will never come. It is not within her character to seek peace and cooperation. She needs conflict and chaos as much as a dentist needs cavities if he is to stay in business. Peace, prosperity and global order? Not while she rules as yard boss.
The first step, most of the times the most difficult, is realizing that there is a problem. The problem here is this gal who believes–TRULY believes–that the world revolves around her as if she were the star of the show, and what’s worse is the fact that she is willing to do anything while on center stage in order to keep the spotlight on her, and even if it means burning down the theater with everyone in it.
What is needed is a campaign of booing, LOUD booing, rotten vegetables being thrown and us–the world body–getting up and walking out of the performance and, most importantly–NEVER COMING BACK. Deal with her the way all civilized countries have throughout history–shun her, drive her out and refuse her entry into civilized societies until she can learn to play nice. Absent all this, the world will continue to slide downward to Big Momma’s level, and all that has been achieved in the last 2,000+ years will be swallowed up and devoured in what is quickly becoming for the human race the mother of all battles.
© 2010 Mark Glenn