Surgeons


A group of surgeons got together for lunch one day to discuss the pros and cons of certain types of patients.

The first surgeon, from New York , says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second, from Chicago , responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”
 
The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, “No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.”

–author unknown

  1. #1 by B.A.Frémaux-Soormally on May 5, 2010 - 11:52 pm

    Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.

    Now, do you understand why I never belonged to any political party and never voted all my life?

    BAFS
    6/5/2010

  2. #2 by Onion on May 6, 2010 - 12:40 am

    That is realy choice. There was a calling to have the best of the best sign up for high level covert operations for the USA. After ending up with only 3 commandos they were asked to go into a room with a loaded gun and shoot and kill the person in the room without question. The first one returned from the room and said hey you guys must be crazy that is my wife in there. He was dismissed and the next commando went in. After a short while he came out and said the same thing he could not kill his wife. The third one went into the room and after a while there was banging and thumping very loud comming from the room. When he exited the room his shirt was torn and he was sweaty and breathing fast and hard. His explination was hey somebody put blanks in the gun I had to beat her to death with a chair.

  3. #3 by Amerikagulag on May 6, 2010 - 9:03 pm

    Only in the US do we call it as it really is.
    Politics
    POLY=many
    TICS=Blood-sucking creatures

  4. #4 by mssimo on May 7, 2010 - 3:37 am

    It’s very true and here’s another one I like ( Not related)it’s about daily life .

    A woman came out of her house and saw three old men with long
    white beards sitting in her front yard .
    She did not recognize them. She said ‘I don’t think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something eat Is the man of the house home?’ they asked . No’, she replied. ‘He’s out then we cannot come in’, they replied In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened .
    Go tell them I am home and invite them in the woman went out and invited the men in
    We do not go into a House together!’ they replied
    Why is that?’ she asked
    One of the old men explained: ‘His ************ is Wealth,’ he said as pointing to one of his friends, and said, pointing to another one, ‘He is Success, and I am Love.’ Then he added, ‘Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home
    The woman went in and told her husband what was said .
    Her husband was overjoyed .
    ‘ How nice!’ he said. ‘Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth !’
    His wife disagreed. ‘My dear, why don’t we invite Success
    Their daughter-in- law was listening from the other corner of the house .
    She jumped in with her own suggestion: ‘Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love Let us heed our daughter-in- law’s advice,’ said the husband to his wife !
    Go out and invite Love to be our guest .’
    The woman went out and asked the three old men, ‘Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest . ‘
    Love got up and started walking toward the house .
    The other two also got up and followed him .
    Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: ‘I only invited Love; Why are you coming in ?’

    The old men replied together: ‘If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would’ve stayed out ,
    but since you invited Love, wherever he goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success
    ———————————————————————————————————————-

  5. #5 by robertvnik on May 7, 2010 - 5:10 am

    Crickey mate, I’m gonna have to sign up to be a politician now.
    You just made me realise my true calling.

  6. #6 by Amerikagulag on May 7, 2010 - 2:47 pm

    Here’s another one from The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce:

    POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

  7. #7 by The Avatar on May 8, 2010 - 3:24 pm

    mssimo
    Loved your loving Story. very lovely indeed

  8. #8 by The Avatar on May 8, 2010 - 3:29 pm

    Here is one:

    God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.
    He inquired, “Where have you been?”
    God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
    “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.”

    Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?”

    “It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put life on it… I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test Balance.”

    “Balance?” inquired Michael, “I’m still confused.”

    God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. “For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.”

    God continued pointing to different countries. “This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”

    The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a land area and said, “What’s that one?”

    “That’s Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of software.”

    Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, “But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.”

    God smiled, “There’s another Washington. Wait till you see the idiots I put there.

  9. #9 by Amy on May 9, 2010 - 4:16 am

    CIA controlled terrorists working for the dictator Michael Bloomberg and others in the organized Jewry–setting up bombs as part of false flag operations–to control Americans and take more of our freedoms and individual liberties–as well as start another new war aimed at destroying Iran.

    Michael Bloomberg, Chuck Schumer, Joseph Lieberman, Rahm Emanuel et al are at work already to go after real Americans using this CIA orchestrated NY bomb.

    Israel and the organized Jewry are getting increasingly impatient [and restless to start the next war (with Iran) and appear to be testing the waters] and their Christian pimps and prostitutes are working hard too–to convince Americans that America should go to war with Iran for Israel and/or we should give Israel the green light to strike Iran [and then come to Israel's rescue thereby completing the operation]. And none of this is in America’s interests and we should have nothing to do with Israel and their dirty operations.

    A man by the name of Mike Evans who describes himself as “the only non-military minister to visit Iraq three times in the last 12 months” is mailing out letters in a massive mail campaign to millions of US households. This man is a warmonger who is hell-bent on destroying yet another innocent country [Iran]. He has written a book “The Final Move beyond Iraq”. His mail included an article by him titled “Israel may have to strike Iran”. He is asking “to rush your gift of $144 or the best gift you can send, so I can continue to be your representative. Together we can stand in the gap for God’s Chosen People. (The Almighty will bless His people with peace.)Under divine appointment and he signs– Michael D. Evans”.

    “P.S. In this crisis hour do not miss this divine moment to step into the annointing of the hundredfold blessing. If you cannot give $144 perhaps you can send $72 or $36. Any amount would be a tremendous help. Please rush the Save Jerusalem survey back to me immediately with your hundredfold gift” His address: Save Jerusalem, Processing Center P.O Box 527 Forest VA 24551-0527. He in the letter writes “while in Israel I cried out to the Lord for His protection”.

    This was the last paragraph in his letter which he has been mailing out to millions of people: “I want to send you a copy of my NY Times best-selling book, The Final Move beyond Iraq. This is the purpose driven book that America is reading. Mike Huckabee, former governor of AK and 2008 presidential candidate said, “The Final Move beyond Iraq is a great book, one that every American should read.” In it I draw from extensive interviews with prime ministers, CIA directors and other insiders. A Persian revolution is spreading and is on the brink of becoming America’s greatest threat since the Civil War. This book is a wake-up call to mobilize millions to action!”

    Please check out this mad man’s website.

    Christians, this is the kind of murderer and criminal the Christian Church tolerates today.
    I ask all Christians to rise against this liar, this agitator, this false prophet, this warmonger, this murderer, this criminal as well as all others like him. It is time Christians question the Christian Church and the false propaganda it is spreading to Christians and others. Please ask yourself the question: how Christian it is to kill Arabs and other Muslims?
    Christians it is time to say NO to all illegal wars and to bring our troops home and Leave Israel Alone to fend for itself and to say “we Christians have no part at all in the crimes Israel and organized Jewry perpetrate on America and other nations”.
    What we need is a government that is sensitive to the needs of the American people. We need congressmen and senators to whom America is first, second and third—and who can stand up to the tyrant Israel that is bleeding America and we need real Americans as high-ranking military officers instead of Zionist Jews and Israelis.

    Let me be clear to all warmongers that we cannot afford any more wars because we are bankrupt, we have been looted by the Zionist bankers and we have lost thousands of our young men fighting wars for Bill Krystol, Mark Levin, Michael Savage, Jay Sekulow, Ben Stein, David Horowitz, the Zionist Jewish senators and congressmen and other members of the organized Jewry and Zionist Israel.

    What is most important is to understand our real problem: Jewish Supremacy, politician whores and prostitute pastors who support it and unwillingness of the Christian Right to confront it head on and the conservative and liberal warmongers on the airwaves for 24 hours of the day selling us the wars for Israel.

    Please read the article entitled “Christian Zionism Will Kill Populist Revolt” by Pastor Ted Pike [Truthtellers.org/National Prayer Network] and please support him generously. He does not keep on asking for money but we need to take care of his financial needs so that he can continue to do this important work which other useless, spineless Christian pastors–and other so called “leaders” and false prophets refuse to do.
    Pastor Ted Pike is so right and I thank him for his honesty and courage to write and speak the truth thereby stand up to the real culprits who have dismantled America through various mechanisms–bankrupting America–causing division between various groups of her people–destroy her culture–corrupt the young [and the old]–bringing despair to all–while benefiting from it.

    America wake up to the truth! Your enemy is not the boogie man Osma Bin Laden and Arabs and other Muslims even if Zionist Joseph Farah [Arab himself] tells you so. America did not reach the edge of .this monstrous cliff in a day. It is not the Democrats or the Republicans but most politicians on both parties who favored Israel over America on behalf of the Jewish supremacists [liberals and neoconservatives who really have no party line but lust for money and power to control others and love to see blood and dead bodies everywhere]. They are wolves in sheep clothing who work together to achieve their set goals from different platforms.
    Members of the organized Jewry have hijacked every aspect of the American life and they sabotage people who criticize them. They intrude into their web activities, block their email, intercept their phone, tamper with their mail and spy on their life. Ashkenazi propaganda is every- where in order to manipulate people and I have seen this happening in American colleges and universities. Zionist Jews have hijacked our educational system [among many other things in addition to looting our banks] and through the quota-system of social engineering–have deprived majority of the white race from getting a higher education from prestigious institutions of higher learning. For instance the so called Ivy League universities are filled with them at every level. The poisonous Jewish political organization known as “Hillel” that operates [under the guise of a religious organization] across college and university campuses in the US brainwash and manipulate blacks, black and other Muslims, Asians and other minorities against America, white people and Christianity– while greedy, ego-centric and spineless Christian pastors are selling the soul of Christianity by pandering to Zionist Israel and organized Jewry–while also misguiding the church attending Christian population. How many of them have been bribed by the Jews?

    America wake up! You have been hijacked by a ruthless group of criminals hellbent on destroying you and your children and generations to be born. They are after your blood ant sweat. Michael Bloomberg and his tribe want illegal immigrants to destroy you, your homes and businesses. It is not Osma Bin Laden and Muslims. It is Michael Bloomberg, Chuck Schumer, Joseph Lieberman, Rahm Emanuel et al–the Zionist pastors, fraudulent Heritage Foundation and other think tanks–other traitors and criminals like John –
    McCain, Lindsey Graham.

    This is a wake up call!

  10. #10 by MorningStar on May 9, 2010 - 4:21 pm

    BAFS has it correct. Utah knows how to remedy that ailment. Good

  11. #11 by Amy on May 9, 2010 - 9:06 pm

    Please read the article: “Pastor John Hagee: Is the Devil in him” by Thomas McFadden in American free Press Online 5/9/10.

    How many of Christian pastors have been bribed by the Jews? Ugly monster John Hagee has a Lear jet and he makes millions by selling wars for Israel and Satan is waiting to drag him into the deepest corner of hell while also reminding him about the suffering of thousands of innocent Palestinians and those in Gaza, millions in Iraq, Afghanistan as well as thousands of our troops and those of other countries who were killed and maimed because of monsters like him and he will have others joining him in due course.

    Here is what Jewish Congresswoman [with a complicated name] Ileanna RosLehtinan of House Foreign Affairs Committee ordered Obama to do; “Leave alone Israel. Deal with Iran nukes”.

    Israel and Jews who support this criminal state want “Americans to shut up” while continue to give billions of dollars to Israel in addition to waging wars for Israel. Never mind about suffering of Americans and American soldiers and their families.

  12. #12 by B.A.Frémaux-Soormally on May 10, 2010 - 9:25 am

    “Leave alone Israel. Deal with Iran nukes”

    Jesus advised us (Humankind) to folow him because he was THE WAY and THE LIGHT, but most of us prefer to follow SATAN’s WAY of darkness and lies!!!!!!!

    Thanks

    BAFS

  13. #13 by Amy on May 16, 2010 - 1:26 pm

    For those who say all Jews are like other people in the society here or abroad, here is some news. This is what Dr William Pierce has written:

    “…And when you no longer are afraid and you finally are able to look the truth squarely in the face, you no longer will believe that it is a coincidence that the Jews have elbowed their way into virtually every position of control in the mass media. You no longer will believe that the Jews do not use the power consciously and collectively that this media control gives them. I’ll say that again: the Jews use their control over the mass media, not as individual capitalists, the way the few non-Jews in the media do, but they use it collectively and cooperatively to advance Jewish interests.

    That is why you can see a common propaganda agenda throughout all of the controlled media. They all promote the image of the Jew as a victim, never as a predator or aggressor; they all promote the image of the Jews as sensitive and creative and sympathetic, not as the sort to plan and organize a bloody Bolshevik revolution and butcher tens of millions of innocent Russians and Ukrainians or to run the White-slave business and force thousands of young European girls into a life of prostitution every year — or as the sort to elbow their way into the key positions of media control and then to help their fellow Jews do the same thing.

    And they also all push interracial sex. They all push the lie that most interracial crime is White on Black. They all suppress any news which contradicts that lie. They all try to persuade us that homosexuality is normal and acceptable, just an alternative life-style. They all propagandize for multiculturalism and for more diversity and for keeping our borders open to the Third World and for scrapping the Second Amendment — all of them.

    Now, let’s back up for a moment, because I’ve just said something extremely important, and I want to be sure that it sinks in: that I have convinced you. I think that most perceptive and responsible people, once they have made up their minds that they want to know the truth, can accept the fact of Jewish media control; that fact is really undeniable. I think that most of them can then take the next step and conclude that this Jewish media control is not just a coincidence: they can conclude that the Jews deliberately and cooperatively set out to achieve this control and then to use it to advance their collective interests.

    People can understand that in terms of the sort of group behavior with which they already are familiar. The members of other groups also cooperate in order to achieve group power and then use this power to advance their group interests. And so it should not be surprising that the Jews in the media collaborate to create a favorable image of themselves in the public mind. Most people can persuade themselves that it’s not “anti-Semitic” to believe that Jews behave like many other groups do in order to advance their group interests.

    It’s the next step that is difficult for many people: it is recognizing that the propaganda agenda of the Jewish media bosses goes far beyond promoting a favorable image of themselves; it also promotes everything which is unfavorable to the non-Jewish majority. And this destructive propaganda is not a coincidence either; it is the product of a planned, deliberate, collaborative effort.

    Reaching this conclusion is a big step, a difficult step, for many people — even for people who want to understand, who want to know the truth. It’s a big step because it separates the Jews from every other special-interest group. It sets the Jews aside from the rest of humanity and identifies them as a uniquely hostile, destructive, and deceptive group. It identifies them as a group which is uniquely dangerous to our people. And it leaves anyone who takes this step open to the charge of “anti-Semitism.” Certainly, if you take this step — if you reach this conclusion — and you announce your conclusion publicly, you will be denounced as an “anti-Semite” by the media bosses — and probably by the lemmings too.

    And so I don’t want you just to take my word for this very important conclusion about the nature of the Jews as a uniquely hostile and dangerous group. I want you to study the facts. I want you to think about the evidence and reach your own conclusion. But I don’t want you to stop short of a conclusion because of fear, because of brainwashing. I want you to overcome your fear and examine the evidence objectively.

    I will make a few more observations about this conclusion and its implications now, however. Let me tell you, it really is the key to understanding many other things: the history of the Jews in Europe — and elsewhere — for example. Why were the Jews always picked on and persecuted far more than any other group? Why did everyone else always hate them? Why have they been kicked out of virtually every country in Europe during the past thousand years: out of England and Spain and Portugal and France and Sweden and Germany and a dozen other countries and told never to come back, only to sneak back in and then be kicked out again? The Jews will tell you that it was Christian bigotry. But Christian bigotry cannot explain why the Egyptians threw them out of Egypt more than a thousand years before Christ, and it cannot explain why the pagan Greeks and Romans hated them. I used to wonder about these things. And even after I began to suspect that the socially and racially destructive activities of the Jews were planned and deliberate, I didn’t know why. It didn’t make sense to me that the Jews would deliberately seek to destroy a society in which they were riding high — that they would deliberately drill holes in the bottom of a boat in which they were passengers. I couldn’t figure it out — until I understood the nature of the Jews.

    And that nature really is unique. At some time far back in the prehistoric period, certainly more than 3,000 years ago, the Jews developed a unique mode of survival as predators and parasites. Whereas other races, other tribes, sought either to live alone among their own kind — or to conquer other tribes militarily and take their land or require them to pay tribute — the Jews sought to invade the territory of other races by stealth and then to subvert them, to undermine their morale, to break down the order and structure in their societies as a concomitant to controlling them and exploiting them.

    In the beginning, thousands of years ago, this may have been only a novel plan for gaining control of a particular neighbor, but eventually it developed into a way of life. It became part of their religion, and eventually it got into their genes. I believe that today they really can’t help themselves. And as I said before, you do need to think carefully about this. You need to study the facts. It’s difficult for many people to understand the Jews because they really are different from every other ethnic group.

    One aspect of the Jewish problem which adds to the difficulty many people have in coming to grips with it is that the Jews are not just a scheming and sinister kehillah of adult male media bosses. They are a complete community, with women and children and many members on the fringes: part-Jews, dissidents, and so on — even a few anti-Jewish Jews. There are approximately six million Jews in the United States , by their own count, and they can’t all be film studio owners or newspaper publishers or promoters of “rap” music or Hollywood scriptwriters. Most of them live and work in a way which gives them relatively little personal opportunity for damaging our society. They are simply teachers and businessmen and merchants and lawyers and doctors, earning a living more or less like everyone else — but not quite.

    You must back off a bit in order to see the forest rather than just the trees. The essential thing about the forest is that it is destroying our world. It is a parasitic forest. It is injecting spiritual and cultural poison into our civilization and into the life of our people and sucking up nutrients to enrich itself and grow even more destructive. Perhaps only 10 per cent of the trees in this Jewish forest have roots deep enough to inject their poison into us, and the other 90 per cent play only supporting roles of one sort or another. It is still the whole forest which is our problem. If the forest were not here we would not have had to endure the curse of Bolshevism. If the forest were not here America would not be growing darker and more degenerate by the year. It is the whole forest, not just a few of the most poisonous trees in it, which must be uprooted and removed from our soil if we are to become healthy again.

    The essential point again is this: not every Jew has a leading role in promoting the evils which are destroying us, and not every person is a Jew who is collaborating with the leading Jews who are promoting evil, but it is only because the Jews as a whole are among us that the evils they always promote are overwhelming us. If the Jews were not present we could overcome the evil men of our own race. The evil men of our own race may seek their own profit at the expense of the rest of us, but they do not seek to destroy our race. Only the Jews seek that”.

    ——————————————————————————–

    Free Speech – 1999 – Volume V, Number 10

    Elites vs. Masses
    by Dr. William Pierce

    I totally agree with Dr William Pierce and I have seen this about organized Jewry myself very clearly. Organized Jewry has hijacked our government, the US military, the Pentagon, legal system, universities and colleges among other things and ruined America and other countries. The international Jew is a curse when they act collectively instead of as individuals. This is the greatest danger we face not the manufactured Islamic terrorism by the Zionist israel which is responsible for 95% of terrorism in the world. It is time to point the blame where it is due: Israel and organized Jewry.

  14. #14 by Amy on May 16, 2010 - 2:08 pm

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